Every story needs a hero, and my children are the heroes in my story. In this moment in time I am here for them. I am here to support them in every way that I can. I am not talking just financially but emotionally as well. I am here to help them become the best people they themselves can become. If anyone where to hear my life story, especially the last few years, most would disagree with me. They would see me as a hero in my own life; however had I not had my children I wouldn’t have made the choices I have made in the past few years. I would not be where I am or who I am today had I not had them. I will be forever grateful to them for what they have done for me by simply being born. I realize I am making myself sound martyr like giving up the main role to my children, so I will give you a little background information to better understand my reasoning. I will give you the background information for you to understand why I believe my children are my heroes. I will try and make this as short and sweet as I can without making it seem like an autobiography.
When my boys were born, all three, I was living in Montreal with their father. He was of course sweet and loving when we first met, and I thought I was in love. I thought this was the man I was going to marry and have a family with. It wasn’t long after we had moved in together that he started showing who he really was, an alcoholic who was abusive both emotionally and physically abusive. He became particularly unbearable when I was pregnant with the twins. Very verbally abusive and when drunk it would easily become physical as well. I ended up on bed rest at 24 weeks for preterm labour. I wasn’t allowed out of bed unless it was to shower or to use the bathroom. I was the one that normally did everything from cleaning, cooking, laundry and taking care of our oldest son. He despised that I was unable to do it all anymore and took it out on me. I was kicked out of the house more times then I care to remember, and usually ended up in Labour and Delivery as walking around usually started up labour for me. He would throw me out, without so much as a coat, or a house key and lock the door with our son inside who was not even two yet. I was terrified for my son and for the two babies that I carried but not yet afraid enough to make the move to leave, that would come later. My boys were born the beginning of December in 2009. My situation with their father was in a downward spiral as I now had even less time to do what he considered my “job”. I had two newborns and a 2 year old to look after. I didn’t have time to wash his clothes, make sure dinner was on the table, or to tidy up every night as I was exhausted most nights by 7pm. He would come home, pop open a beer and park himself in front of his play station.
It happened on a Sunday night when the boys were about 6-7 weeks old, and he was on one of his drinking binges. I had one of the twins in my arms, he was angry about something and came after me, hand raised, I knew he was going to hit me. I calmly told him 3 times, “I am holding “N”, please back off,” before he did just that. The next morning I contacted a lawyer, made arrangements to move home for the 14th of February and started packing. I hid stuff like a crazy women, had hiding places everywhere. In the linen closest behind a stack of towels, in an old trunk I had in the twin’s room, under our bed. Wherever I could think of a place I knew he wouldn’t look I had stuff stashed to take with me. I on a day he worked a 12 hour shift, that way I was sure to have enough time to pack what I needed to take for myself and my three boys. He came home to an empty apartment. He was served court papers the next day which stated I had been granted emergency custody of our three children.
I now have permanent custody of my three children. I am currently enrolled in University and I am working towards a degree so that I can support my children the way that I want to and need to support them. Had I not had my boys, I would still be there, I know that without a doubt in my mind. They saved me and themselves simply by being. I was fine being treated the way he treated me until he tried to harm one of my children, that is when everything changed for me. This is why to me my children are my heroes. Had I not had “D”, “N” and “W” who knows where I would be today.
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